Centrifugal Force
by Philote
Summary: Jack made his choice. But with the search for the Doctor no longer the center of his world, he can’t help feeling as if he’s been set adrift.


Title: Centrifugal Force

Author: Philote

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack, Ianto (mentions of the Doctor and the rest of the team)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of _Dr. Who _and_ Torchwood_ do not belong to me. I make no money from this story. Please don't sue.

Warnings: Spoilers for Torchwood season 1 and through Dr. Who season 3.

Summary: Jack made his choice. But with the search for the Doctor no longer the center of his world, he can't help feeling as if he's been set adrift.

Author's Note: Written for the 'center' prompt at Taming the Muse. Italicized statements in the first section are quotes from "Utopia."

oOo

Whilst growing up, enlisting with the Time Agency and hopping around like he owned the universe, Jack never would have thought he would one day let his life revolve around one person. He liked to blame it on that one moment on Satellite 5, that instant when he stopped being mortal and started needing the Doctor to explain him, to _fix_ him. But he knew in his heart that it had begun before that. From the instant the Time Lord bothered to save him and took him aboard, he'd started to change. The more time he'd spent with the Doctor and Rose the more attached he'd grown, the more his values and goals had started to shift.

He'd never felt so lost as when they left him behind.

The Doctor had been the center of Jack's existence for more than a hundred years, longer than a standard human lifetime. He hadn't expected to feel bereft when the search was finally over.

Of course, he'd expected the search would end with answers to his little immortality problem or, at the very least, him on the TARDIS at the Doctor's side. Having turned him down, having saluted the center of his world and then turned away…he felt like a lonely planet breaking orbit. Now he was lost again, wandering around in the dark on his own.

Not alone, of course. But even his team had changed, enough time passed that they'd regrouped and moved on as best they could. If he'd thought his reappearance would be easy, he'd been sorely mistaken.

It was Gwen who put it to him bluntly. "You left us, Jack."

_You abandoned me._

"You died, quite seriously for once; you'd just come back, and then you left with no warning. You can't expect us to just welcome you back with open arms, no questions asked."

_Is that what happens though, seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear?_

"So? Where were you, then?"

_Busy life. Moving on._

They couldn't understand where he'd been; couldn't fathom what he'd seen and lived through, and what he still had ahead of him. "I had things to do," he answered before he thought better of it.

It earned him a look of disgust from Gwen. Tosh gave him a hurt look; Ianto's gaze was wounded as well, though he concealed it better. Owen was perhaps the hardest to read, buckets of deep emotion that he kept bottled up until it exploded. His jaw ticked as he watched solemnly.

"Things?" Gwen asked pointedly.

"A mission. A dangerous one, something I had to do alone. Something you didn't—and _don't_—need to know about. You're just going to have to trust me."

He watched as they exchanged glances, glances that conveyed distrust and a wealth of abandonment issues. He waited for one of them to comment.

No one did.

oOo

Later, Jack stood in his office overlooking the hub. He stared down, unable to shut off his recent memories. He missed the Doctor despite himself.

He'd made the choice, chosen Earth and Torchwood, but something fundamental to his life had shifted. The Doctor was still out there, but Jack's search was over. His great goal had come to pass and ultimately disappointed. It felt extremely odd to know that the next morning would dawn and he wouldn't be waiting for the Time Lord. He had to find his purpose and base his life here.

He couldn't help wondering if he'd made the wrong choice. But he wouldn't be human if he didn't have second thoughts, right?

"A fixed point in time and space," he mused softly.

"What was that, sir?"

Jack started. He told himself it wasn't that he hadn't noticed another person in the room; just that Ianto was such a familiar presence that it didn't concern him. He watched as the younger man set a cup down on his desk. "Nothing, Ianto. Just something someone said recently."

"Your doctor?"

Jack studied him, wondering how much he cared to share. How much he had a right to share. He finally settled on, "Yes," and left it at that. He turned his attention back to the hub below.

He sensed rather than saw Ianto coming up beside him. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes," he said again, though this one came out far softer and so hesitant that it might have been a question. "Sort of," he amended.

Ianto was silent for a long moment. "If you weren't a fixed point, it would be difficult for everyone to orbit you."

Jack looked back to him sharply.

Ianto offered him a small, sad smile. "Sometimes against out better judgment, but…heaven help us, we all do. And we knew you'd be back, eventually." He looked out into the hub and nodded towards his teammates. "They'll come around. Just give them a bit of time."

Jack couldn't help but stare. At times, he wondered if Ianto had some sort of empathic abilities. He had missed the man, more fiercely than he might have expected. He'd missed all of them.

His desire to reach out and touch warred with his desire not to screw things up. But he was still Captain Jack, and it had been an awfully long time since he'd had a quiet moment with anyone. His right hand found its way to Ianto's neck, resting gently, thumb sweeping over his cheek.

Ianto dropped his head slightly, and Jack took it as encouragement to massage his fingers against smooth skin. Unfortunately, he'd misinterpreted.

"I think I misspoke." Ianto shrugged away, not unkindly, but the message was clear. "Perhaps you could give us all a bit of time?"

Jack's hand hovered a moment before he dropped it to his side. "Sure," he acquiesced softly.

Ianto gave him a somewhat shy, rueful smile, as if perhaps even he wasn't sure what he wanted. "I should go. Good night, sir."

"Right. Good night."

Jack didn't turn to watch him go. He did continue to watch the hub, watching all of them as they interacted, as they finally headed out one by one.

He loved human interaction, loved to spend time with them and have relationships with them. He couldn't keep them of course, not long term. Not long for him anyway. He was a _fact_; they were players passing through on an ancient stage.

But that hadn't stopped him from attaching to a special few through the years. Even those he didn't allow himself to truly care for, he still drew in. He still played with their lives, still used them. Whether he left them better for knowing him or not, he would always leave them.

Why had he come back? Because he thought he could do good, thought he could fix things?

All of this was sounding eerily familiar.

He stood there long after the hub went dark, perfectly still, trying to figure out when exactly he had become the man he'd sought.

oOo


End file.
